Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Im gonna miss Alayna so much this weekend. I mean its my birthday weekend. I mean i hate sounding greedy and bitchy but I just cant help it : ( her family is taking her to Universal Studios because of graduation. And shes leaving on my birthday : ( she promises that we will celebrate my birthday when she gets back. Ugh she has never traveled for more than a day since we have been best friends idk what to do : ( good part- Im almost 17!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Cant wait to get my 30 day chip monday : )

Thursday, May 21, 2009

My daddy gave me all his beatles cds! I love the beatles!

Monday, May 18, 2009

The truth is I am such a nerd at heart haha. I LOVE ANIME yeah i will admit it lol. If your my true friend or even worth my love you will accept me for it! Haha! I also read manga and comic books. I love making dumb collages and bad artwork. I like cheesy relationships! Be it just friends or more. I also just make random mix cds when im bored. Some people thinks these things are odd flaws but the truth is it shouldn't matter about these things. Just love me for the weird quirky DORK i am! Lol please? Im just a goof looking for my ball! : ) : P

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Once you go black...
Im dying my hair black. Took the red out.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

I hope i get into middle college this year!
As we go on, we remember all the times we had together and as our lives change from whatever we will still be friends forever.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

The 2000 movie version of The Great Gatsby is SHIT! the 1974 will ALWAYS conquer! Always!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Im so excited to get married!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

The cd is the best cd anyone has ever made me. No lie. Skinny Love makes me want to fall in love just to know what true need feels like. Low Is A Height makes me want to live on top of a mountain and fall in love with nature. Does He Love You reminds me of the great gatsby. The Cure For Pain turns me into a recluse. Dash and Blast plays a movie of my life. I am in love with this cd. Thankyou so much ms helbing!

Friday, May 8, 2009

Im not just gonna be your random drunk hook up if you ACTUALLY wanna hang out we can make LEGITIMATE plans okay?! Im not gonna be your go to

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Music is AMAZING!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The best part about being sick? Lying in bed watching tv. Bought a cheap dvd player from cvs! Haha! Peace.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

All you need is love

Monday, May 4, 2009

I feel as if the more that i bull shit the better i do. I feel if im honest im not right to anyone but myself.

my weekend

so i promised that i would talk all about my weekend today. well the fact is maybe today I just dont have enough time haha. idk. maybe. i have like ten minutes spare right now.
so friday i realized somethings but now that I look back its not that I wasnt sad, its just that I realize thats just spurts I go through. I suffer through severe depression, anxiety, and mild mania. I used to be on pills but it seems like it just made things worse. to have to rely on a pill? no thanks!
anyways friday was just really awkward. my favorite teacher bitched me out because I was complaining about how hot it was and i just thought that was silly. not that he bitched me out, we all deserve that every now and again, but he really made me think.
anyways my mom and i had a plan to get sushi after school. her treat!
sushi turned into me going on errands with her and my half brothers.
which is okay, except she kept asking me awkward questions like "are you mad at me?" "do you hate me" i almost cried because of the pressure. we got dinner at a place only she wanted to go to which is no big deal because a free meal is a free meal but my brothers were complaining and she was like "ALEX WANTED TO GO HERE SO WE ARE HERE!!! TODAY IS ABOUT HIM!!!"
so at that point it was obvious she was trying to be a mother figure as easily while getting her way as possible.

and quite honestly i am not sure if "the thought that counts" fits appropriately in this sentance.
I told her to forget about the movie and drop me off. i dont think i was rude.... i just said i was tired.
anyways this fueled all this built up sadness in me about my relationship with her and my relationships with other people and I just broke down.
I watched eternal sunshine and felt sorry for myself the rest of the night.
oh well.
i feel better now.
thats mania for you.
I hate South Carolina.
I just want to start over.
I will talk about saturday later, but I have to go now. sorry.

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Sunday, May 3, 2009

Is it possible to like someone without meeting them in person? Ugh. So tmmrw I promised I will tell you all about my weekend! Peace.
Haha did I really just use my dad being a chef at Diannes as a pick up line? Lol i keep hitting new lows.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

So im off work sunday. I was going to go to the swamp with my grandma but she is sick. So my dad and I are probably going over to her place. I need to tell you about my weekend. Friday was not so good. Saturday was fine tho. I will tell you all about it monday when i get a chance to use the computer. Spray tans are weird. I like it. But I cant believe I caved and got one. But it doesn't look gross. It actually looks really good. I actually want to go darker. I may be getting a level 3 tuesday. Its kinda sticky tho. Haha! I cant wait to tell you about my weekend on monday! Peace.
Im tan!
I feel as if I have hit a new low! Im getting spray tanned! Oh gee! Alayna convinced me! Ha!

Friday, May 1, 2009

Today was rough. I didn't realize how sad I really was till today.