err, yeah do it

its anonymous. so why not????

being single is all its cracked up to be

sike.

getting in that holiday spirit!!!!

I am SO excited for friday night! Stephen and Nicki and I are having our own lil christmas. Omg its going to be so much fun, we went ALL OUT!!! Got a tree, loads of gifts, stockings, all sorts!!!! its going to be SUCH a blast! I got Stephen and Nicki matching pillow cases from urban outfitters with their initials on them! like his and her pillows. and considering they are such amazing friends they WONT read my blog haha. among loads of other things i got them too! But they wont start reading my blog within the next 20hours for sure haha. but collectivly i spent like 200 dollars on them haha, not that its about the money haha cos its totally not! I wonder what they got me, they keep on dropping hints to confuse me. I love them so much, and I am so blessed to finnaly have friends like them. I am also really blessed because this will be the closest thing to a NORMAL christmas i ever had. i know they are my age and not old enoough to be my parents but its almost a similar concept, a male and female figure getting gifts for me. hahah so cheasy, i know but WHATEVER. I will be sure to be taking pictures. omg nicki is taking stephen to fucking DC for his present, so jealous! and he is getting her an ipod! lol true love, it is just SO sweet! so so sweet when i see da true love mon, they are just great friends! so happy to finally be on break from school, and i am now officially in that holiday spirit! hope everything is good with everyone ttyl xoxoxoxoxooxoxxooxoxoo

just maybe

why are boys so complicated? is it possible to feel connected to someone so much just by so few conversations with them. how long does it take till you can tell you like someone? how long does it take for someone to break you is more like the question. i really wish it were all so much more simpler than this. I just wish i had that prince who could sweep me off my feet with my baggage and all. even if that prince has similar baggage to me especially when it comes to relationships. especially if. is he really my prince if i have to wait for him like this? to sort out yet again what he wants, scared that its not going to be me, yet again, story of my damn life. i wish i could just take a deep breath and blow down all the walls that shroud relationships. maybe im just too sensitive but being a gemini i go back and forth on what i want alot, but this... this stays pretty constant... i am pretty sure i want this prince... but maybe i am just sensitive and too quick to jump into things. maybe im just a crazy fucking gemini who is off the rails again. everythings a maybe when when you are talking about this shit. fucking everything.

im here when you are ready

story of my life.

Never Too Sure

So today I took an HIV test. Its negative, i dont have HIV or any HIV antibodies, want to go ahead and get that out of the way. I wasnt too worried honestly, but you know what they say, one of yr sexual partners makes u all of their sexual partners partner as well. So I just thought I should get a test. I always use protection and havent had any sexual contact since august so I dont have to go back for a check up or anything, I definately dont have it. Its a relief to know. I suggest everyone get an HIV test regurally. If you live in my state PALSS is a great place to go! www.palss.org it was completely free and confidential, and everyone there was so nice. The test itself only took 10 minutes and i was at the doctors only about 30 minutes. So why not get tested? I suggest everyone do it, because its always good to be sure. :)

nevertheless

I cannot believe I agreed to do this... I feel so fake. I cannot believe I gave in expecting something to do different. its all the same, the bridges are all burnt. I am not proud of myself for this.